i refuse to sink.

I keep typing out sentences and then deleting them. I don't know how to start this so I guess this'll have to do.

I know I'm not extremely talented. I know I have a hard time memorizing and tap is certainly not my thing.
I'm trying really hard, though. And even if I've missed AP Language a couple times, I'm still doing the best I can.

After all, I am surviving. At least I'm trying to, anyway.
I'm surviving by Monday emails and checking the mailbox and the empty Diet Coke bottles rolling around in my floor boards. I'm surviving by 4x4s and long talks with Morgan and learning how to filter and not filter. I'm surviving by 14 hour set builds and long drives in my truck and country music and smoothies all around.

But here's the thing:
I refuse to be the weakest link.
I refuse to let comments rip me apart.
I refuse to self-destruct.
I refuse to get sick.
I refuse to give up.
I refuse to let anyone drag me down.
I refuse to sink.

Because I can do anything that I want to do.
(And I want this really bad.)

(Look familiar? Don't worry, I wear it religiously.)

Marley Kay

I haven't.

I haven't
opened my journal
Listened to music on my iPod
Cracked open my sewing kit
Drawn a sketch in my book
Finished all of my homework for one night
Cleaned my room
Written my brother
Asked anyone to Sadie's
Sung a song with all my heart
Had decent grades
Written a blog post
Watched a movie
Slept
Or finished anything I really need to finish really.

The thing is, I'm failing at life and at all of the things that keep me sane. I'm slowly being driven mad and all I could ever ask is to just be given some time to do something that I want to do.

This girl is lost and drowning in a sea of unfinished to-do lists and may need some help getting out.

I have so much to write about but unfortunately I've wasted more than too much time today. Hopefully I'll write soon.

(Homecoming pictures, Elder BigBrother stories, happenings of school and such, and even sone Shakespeare stories to come! Hopefully.... If I don't die first.)

You Dreamer
Marley Kay

P.s. Con-Con I miss you and ill always regret not posting before you left like I promised. Sorry bb. But I know you're doing great out there!


(So maybe this is what the Mad Hater felt like when he went mad...)