Neverland

I miss it.
I miss Neverland.
I miss our Neverland.
Mostly because it was ours.

I keep finding new spots
But I interrupt my train of thought remembering that I can't say much about that anymore.

I miss our little escape where imagination could run free.
We got to play every part.
We got to reminisce all those old days.
We got to remember when all this Neverland business was socially acceptable for our age.

I feel like I've switched gears.
Instead of being whisked away in flight to Neverland, I've been drugged into a freakish sleep.
Cats vanish body part at a time, caterpillars smoke here, apparently it's always tea time, and everybody is mad. Oh, and don't mess with the queen or she'll have your head... Literally.

It's just a new experience for me.
And I guess they were right when they said she decided what she didn't want to be by process of elimination.

But it is so very lonely here.
And it's all so dreadfully confusing.
Even after all I accomplished and all the courage it took to do it,
All I wanted was to return.

I never meant for it to be like this.
And I really hate that it is...
I feel like part of me is missing.
It's so frustrating in this place,
All I want is to climb back up that rabbit hole or find the looking glass.... But I'm sort of lost here.

Well... I'm trapped. And I can't get out. And I'm scared and frustrated and I keep trying to give up and just cry but for some reason I won't let myself.
Because I have to finish this what-ever-this-is before I can come back.
And I didn't want to admit it but I need you. Because you're kind of the only thing that has kept me from going mad lately.

Sometimes I still look up at that second star to the right and wonder if you're looking there too.
It hurts me to think that you might not be, so I just pretend you are, even if you aren't.
Not to boast, but I think I'm really good at that. I can believe in anything I want to. I know that may not make sense to you but that's because it's all pretend. I can pretend all I want. But when real things come along that are just as good as all my pretendings, it freaks me out a little. I can't be sure if its all true or really real because its all I ever dreamt of.

My heart was aching to return and so I tried to go there yesterday- Neverland I mean- but I couldn't. It seems something has gone missing... But then I remembered giving it to you. So it all makes sense.

You'll always have a special place in this broken heart of mine, you know. It's called Neverland. And I hope you'll come pay a visit sometime.



your dreamer

Marley Kay

  

ACT, Called to Serve, and other such Updates.

So sorry i haven't posted in forever.
Life's already been kicked into high gear with school starting up already and I have had no time to write!

I seriously have no life any more. It's all just school, and home work, and work.
PS, Who ever thought homework was such a great idea? I mean, as if 6 hours of class isn't bad enough, lets just give them 4 to5 more hours to do AFTER that! Ugh- so frustrating. Only first term and the senoritas has already begun!


It's been a crazy weekend! Friday night i had to work but my awesome big brother was kind enough to take the end of my shift (He's worked there on and off since his Jr. year in high school) so i would be able to get some good sleep the night before the ACT. So sweet, right?! He's the greatest.

Took the ACT yesterday morning and felt pretty darn good about it. Still had time issues but i was much more confident in it and felt that i did well on the stuff i finished. (PS, if you're struggling on the ACT or would like to have a better score, or even if you're just struggling in a subject in school, i know of a fantastic tutor, it made a world of difference.)

In preparations for a farewell, we cleaned like mad-men over here Friday and yesterday! Then my mom kicked me and her sisters (my aunts) out and we went shopping. {finally found a Homecoming dress! pictures to come :)} Then my aunt talked me into going with her down to a friend's house for a facial. It was definitely a new experience for me but it was so fun! And my face has never felt better. :)

Today was my big brother's mission farewell--which was slightly heartbreaking for this house of girls.
He had a double farewell with a close friend and the entire parking lot was over-flowing, if you know what i mean. They both gave amazing talks! But i sure had a lot of pity for the poor youth speakers and the musical number... Also, if you saw us Anderson's in the meeting, don't worry. We are ok. All of us had a tiny break down at the end of the meeting, but we've recovered thus far. We are known for our tears, so don't panic. ;)
We had family and friends come over after the block for a get together. Basically, i couldn't stand in one place for longer than 3 minutes. I was chasing children, prepping more food, eating food, trying to say hi to people and welcome them in, or trying to find people. (But mostly i was eating food and chasing children.) We've had family and friends in and out all day long and it lasted til about 10 o'clock. So, you know, I'm just barely staring my homework... Which i should probably get back to...

Hopefully you'll hear from me sooner or later.

love always,
your dreamer
Marley Kay

Oh! PS, (for the third time) he's headed to the Philippines, where you mail one shoe at a time, eat dog, and speak a language no one's ever heard of.
He's gonna love it. :)

been too long.

here's the thing.
i feel like i haven't written in forever.
sorry that i'm a fiend.

the school year has already taken it's toll on my sleeping habits and most of my other ones too.
sleeping 5 hours or less is getting normal again.
stressing over homework is getting normal again.
and procrastination? yeah that one has just always stayed normal...
(yeah... i should probably do something about that....)

so i don't really know the reason for this post, but i just kinda needed to post something on here.
(mostly because i was going to face severe consequences from Em if i didn't, but i mean: it's fine.)

ok, but really. I just had a news flash yesterday that might be in any sense noteworthy.
so i've been workin' at SK since the first week of July, 2011, right?
and now, there are only three of us there that have worked since then.
it's freakin' me out a little. I'm the second "oldest" employee. I feel like i should know a little bit more about my job by now but i really don't.... oh well. maybe I'll work on that.
also, my bosses just hired 5 new people and i've been training them this week. so that's weird too.
i feel all mentor-y and it makes me nervous 'cause it's gonna be my fault if they end up... not good.
(here's hoping they don't hate me yet.)

Any-who, on a completely different, but ok, not-so-different note: I love my job. Mostly because of these lovely ladies below. I love these girls. They just bring so much SUNSHINE into my life. ;)

If you ever wanted to know, this is what the SK girls do when it gets slow ;)

[ok, lil' explanation about the vid. so this kid keeps calling me sunshine, right? well i was telling them about it (and they were teasing like any good SK employee would) and i looked outside. Of course, it was a cloudy day. So, like any good Marley moment, i busted out singing that first line: "I got sunshiiiine, on a cloudy day!" basically we had our very own "my-life-is-an-actual-musical" moment and i was TOO pleased. so i made them do it again for the sake of memories.]

anywho,
senior year is looking bright so far.
i'll write soon :)

your dreamer
Marley Kay

the summer of the couch

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I meant to post this  on the 19th. But it's fine cause I'm posting it now. So don't hate ;)

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It's time to bid farewell this lovely summer, unfortunately.

Not gonna lie, this summer's been a weird one for me.

it involved spending more hours at the school than i ever intended
only one unfortunate trip to 7 peaks
plenty of x-rays and doctor's appointments
practically NO yard work (which is a miracle in this house, the only reason you can get out of it is if you are severely injured... or mom thinks the environment is unsuitable- too hot, too cold, too wet, etc.)
spending 4 1/2 weeks on the couch (hence the title)
watching our home's entire movie collection/plenty of DVR
seeing almost every movie rated PG-13 and under in theaters
being an antisocial because summer is for physical activities and i was physically unable for 2/3 of it
being unable to work and earn all that money for the NYC trip for next summer
spent lots of time expanding my "medical-things-to-make-Marley's-body-stop-hurting" collection
only having 3 sleepovers
not going to the vast majority of girls camp
indulging in only one snow-cone
finally doing a few of those DIY projects i've been meaning to get through
starting a blog and joining just about every other social networking site out there
and a summer of learning a lot of things about myself


But it's time to close that chapter.
Time to say goodbye to the last summer of my youth.
Time to move on because sometimes that's just what life requires of us.
So there you have it. My summer. It built me, and I grew more this summer than i think i ever have in a three month period of time... But it was a good kinda growing [even if it wasn't the vertical kind- yup, still 5'2" ;)].
But now it's time to slip back into routine and school and the busy life i tend to lead.... so i'll kiss my wonderful summer good bye.
My goal this final school year of high school is to live it like a summer.
Drink it in and have some fun. To let go of all the "last years" and the "yesterdays" and live in today.

I'm going to make this new chapter count.
So here I go, wish me luck!

Marley Kay
your dreamer.

Life is Good.

Well first of all, I'd just like you appologize for the last post.
I'm fine, don't worry.

Second, today was a great day.

Once Upon a Time (the TV show I'm obsessed with on ABC at 8 pm) is starting up again in 51 days (Yes, I'm counting down, you should be excited too. Plus also [<-- Junie B. Jones reference, ok fine, I was obsessed.] I was reading a bunch of spoilers that made me even more excited. And my friend and sisters are having a marathon before the season starts. Life couldn't get better.)

I got a couple of great compliments form my ACT tutor, even though I started off quite grumpy about anything to do with exercising my brain.
(First she told me she liked my name because it's "adaptable" and it "fits [me] very well because that's how [I] am," she was also impressed with my persentaging skills (it's fine, I laughed too) and basically offered me a job there! Whoooooo!)
P.S. If anyone is struggling to get their desired ACT score, this lady works miracles. Just so you know.

Also, I took a nap-which generally takes away most grumpy feelings ;)

AND had a fan-tastic time at work sharing awkward customer stories with my co-workers who are fantastic.

AND I finished Quarter One of my online class! (Here's hoping I can make the deadline with Quarter Two!)

Everything is fine.
And I'm happy.
And life is great.
And sorry if you find this post un-interesting or boring.

Still loving, still learning, still working things out.
Your dreamer
Marley Kay