the Updated Updates

Today marks the 5th movie seen in theaters,
3rd boating trip I've sat out,
4th doctor I've seen,
3rd blog post on the matter,
and 29th day of broken-ness
(with 35-48 days left).

Well, I went to the doctor (again) this morning.
After waiting an hour and a half to see him,
(temple run and fruit ninja don't entertain for that long-mind you)
the doctor, my mother, and I looked over my x-rays again.
He said it looks like it broke in the same place-which is good.
He said the "calcified stuff" hadn't mineralized yet and it was still in the softer phase-which is good.

(Side note: When your collar bone heals basically what happens is your body sends a bunch of calcium at it. It then surrounds the break and "bridges" over. For lack of better words basically it's like molding play dough around a broken stick to hold it together. The calcium then forms a bump or knot as it heals. There are a few phases it goes through but basically it starts off soft--like mine was when it re-broke-- and then gets hard like the bone. After a few months the body sends some things at the "bump" to eat it away until it's as smooth as it can get naturally.)

He said surgery was an option but he'd avoid it if possible.
Because it is my second break there are some pros to surgery
but also some cons in the general idea of surgery.

Having surgery would mean trading the "bump" for a scar- which sounds like an attractive option to me (the bump is not that comfortable but that also may be because it's still healing).
But along with the scar comes some hardware in my body.
A metal plate and I think about 6 screws?
And sometimes they have to go in and remove those years later.

Still weighing my options at this point. There are three:
1. Surgery, metal plate, scar.
2. No surgery, let it heal on its own, deal with the bump.
3. No surgery now, let it heal on its own, deal with the bump for a couple years, then get it "shaved down" through surgery, have a scar, and a straight collarbone.

With both options 1 and 2 I'm still looking at about 4-6 more weeks recovery.
Option 3 is that and however long after the surgery... which would be less invasive than option 1.

Ok, so that's pretty much it for the doctor... We had some more questions after we left so we ran back in and had the nurse write them down for us and he called with the answers later.
Basically, if I chose option 1 surgery would likely be the week after next with 4-6 weeks recovery.
When the family goes to Lake Powell, I'm the photographer (no boarding or tubing for this girl!).
The bump is kind of sharp now but it should smooth out a little eventually.

The thing I'm most afraid for is going back in 6 weeks (the day school starts) and realizing we should've done surgery... or breaking it again, which wouldn't surprise me for some reason.

People keep calling and asking what the plan is but honestly, I have no idea yet.
Pretty much all the information I have is right here, and I still don't know what to do with it.
And I know it's vain but I think that stupid bump is going to drive me crazy... I just want it smooth like a normal teenage girl...
I wish it didn't bother me and I wish it didn't hurt anymore and I wish I could learn some new tricks on the wake board and go swimming and play outside and get dressed normally and put my hair in a "Marley bun" and I wish I didn't have to wear that stupid brace that makes me feel like a freak. I wish I didn’t. but i do.

I think it's safe to say that I'm scared now.
Scared of what my choice will be and the consequences that will follow.

Sorry this post was such a downer... trying to stay positive! Today was just a not-so-great-one.
But it's not over yet!

Still hoping. Still dreaming. Still wishing. Still deciding.

Marley Grace Kay
Your Dreamer

P.S. Any good movie suggestions?

P.P.S. Girls camp next week? Probs not happenin’.

the Updates.

Retired the old sling yesterday.

I got a new gadget.

 (Sorry, best picture I could get of it myself)

... I feel a little bit like a gorilla in it seen as I can't put my arms down, also, I wish it was attached to a jet pack or something- 'cause hey! That would be cool.

Ok, and just in case you really wanted to see my x-rays, here they are, just for you:

ok so here's the first on the day of the incident June 8th:

and the second one umm I can't remember when this one was.... maybe the 27th?:

and the last one from yesterday:

Now if you're anything like me you're probably thinking,
"Wait... I think she mixed up those pictures there... Shouldn't they be in opposite order?"
My reply to you is: Nope.
Yes, yes I did just spend four weeks of my six weeks recovering progressively getting worse.

If you just checked my blog to get the story, here it is:

Yesterday was the Fourth of July (let freedom ring, everyone!).
After the little neighborhood breakfast thing, I came home and got ready to go to my grandma's.
Coke and purse in hand I was walking down the stairs when....
a banana peel jumped out of nowhere and landed underneath my foot!
ok, I'm just kidding.
Really, I just slipped.

I landed on the opposite elbow and shoulder blade of my break and heard a lovely "POP."
(Not the most pleasant thing to hear, especially when you are "recovering")
I may or may not have screamed a little but I immediately started crying.
(And for those of you who don't know, I am a crier, but for some reason I don't cry in physical pain. Unless it's really bad. I mean really, when I practically shattered my wrist I shed one tear and it was in the moment when my dad said "You're fine, we don't need to take you to the ER," while we were sitting in the brush of the mountain side. Ok, well that side note took more of a tangent than I was hoping... Ok, end side note.)
My parents decided to take me to urgent care and I got the usual x-rays.
The Doctor showed me a nasty break (pictured above) and said, "We are going to set you up an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon."

Then we continued the tradition of JCW's.
(We have this tradition of going to JCW's after getting an x-ray. Sadly, we have that tradition.)

and that's pretty much it...

So, my appointment is tomorrow. And honestly, I’m not one bit scared.

More updates to come.

Forever broken and/or injured,

Your dreamer
Marley Grace Kay

when your collar bone is broken...

So remember what i told you about being a clutz?
Yeah... here's what my right collar bone looks like about now:

It's broken. 6 weeks recovery and I'm at 1 week and 1 day.

The past 8 days have been spent on the couch watching plenty of TV (Disney, 80's movies, the entirety of Once Upon a Time season one, you name it), there's been lots of Facebook-ing and I've Pinned more in the past 8 days than ever before.

But when your collar bone is broken, it makes it hard to dress comfortably like a normal human being. So instead you wear things like button up DI shirts and sweat pants a lot (which, in case you were wondering, is a very comfortable mix). When your dominant collar bone is broken and you are a girl, you can't do your makeup easily, and most certainly can not do your own hair. So you spend a lot of time having Mama help you out in the beauty department.

You take lots of meds and get out of chores a lot, which makes your sisters really upset when they are weeding and folding all the laundry without you. You get to wear this awesome sling that makes your other shoulder ache; and, when you lay down, your hand falls asleep because your blood is rushing into your elbow. You also can't make smoothies anymore so you are out of income for a few weeks. You also sit on the couch so much that your butt becomes imprinted in the cushion. You find out that there are lots of movies out there that you have never heard of and try not to remember the online class you are supposed to be working on. You wish you could work on a sketch or do something with your hands but find that it's a bit difficult.

So you create a blog. Because, hey! You can type with one hand- and sometimes even both!

Three cheers for injury, folks.

You'll be hearing from me soon (and a whole lot more in the next 6 weeks),

Marley Kay
Your Dreamer


P.S. i thought maybe you'd enjoy the out fit of the day: